how to ask a girl on a date

How To Ask A Girl On A Date

how to ask a girl on a date

On the surface, to ask a girl on a date seems like a no-brainer. Sadly, many men do not do it the right way, which leads to them getting rejected and walking away with their tail between their legs. Even worse, they get the date but she later cancels or just ends up blowing him off all together. So it’s imperative to ask a girl on a date the correct way to be sure that it’s a definite date, she’s enthusiastic about the date and that she will actually show up.

How To Ask a Girl on a Date

This is assuming that you have already met or know the girl you are planning on asking out on a date.

First, you must ask her confidently, as this will immediately grab her attention. Most women are used to a timid, nervous approach and she’s usually coming up with an excuse before you even get the words out. So, it’s best to ask her something like, “When are you free to get together?” or “What does your schedule look like this week?” This way you’re giving off the vibe that you already presuppose that she’s interested in going out with you without you being too pushy. Asking her about specific days is setting yourself up for her to turn you down. It may not because she’s not interested, but she may actually be too busy. Then you’re left asking about another day or more and before you know it things just get awkward from there.

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Is She Showing Resistance?

Next, you want to make sure that she’s showing enthusiasm on some level when you ask a girl on a date. Remember that, just because you’re interested in her doesn’t mean that she’s interested in you. If she’s showing resistance there’s a good chance that she will either cancel or be a no-show. Despite what you may believe, women really don’t want to hurt your feelings, nor do they want to put themselves in an awkward or potentially dangerous situation. Instead of rejecting you outright, many times women will begin to come up with excuses or hesitate in answering you. If she responds with a “maybe” or shows resistance, just say something like, “It sounds like you are unsure about your schedule. Why don’t you just get in touch with me when you figure out your schedule, and we can plan something then.” Give her your number or contact info if she doesn’t already have it and do NOT contact her until you hear from her. If she’s truly interested in you, she will be contacting sometime in the near future. If she’s not interested, then you won’t be hearing from her again. At least this way you won’t be wasting your time on a woman who’s not interested or only has lukewarm feelings for you.

If she suggests that you call to confirm before the date there’s a good chance that you won’t be able to get her on the phone or a response when you do try to contact her to confirm. Don’t accept the “confirmation” excuse. If this is the case, just politely withdraw the offer and tell her that you don’t do confirmations and follow that with something like, “It sounds like you are unsure of your schedule. Why don’t we just do it another time?” She will either agree to doing it another time, which means she’s not interested; or she will back up and accept your terms, which means she definitely wants the date.

Is It a Definite Date?

A definite date is when you have a day, time and location that you both agree on. Agreeing to “hang out sometime this weekend” does not count. If you’re going to ask a girl on a date you want to do it right and make sure that it’s definite. So either you have a day and time to pick her up; or a day, time and place to meet. You want to make sure she agrees, however. Telling her like you’re giving her orders will more than likely not fly, so ask her; something like, “How does Saturday at 8pm sound, at XYZ Bar?” Then just smile and wait for her to respond. If she agrees, repeat it to communicate you are also in agreement. “Great! I will see you at 8pm on Saturday at XYZ Bar. If something comes up I will get in touch and you should do the same if something comes up your end.” If you plan on picking her up at her residence, obviously you want to rephrase it to add that.

Next week I will be explaining how to plan an awesome first date where it will almost be impossible for her not to want a second date.

If you need some help getting the girl, or asking her on a date, or are having any issues in your relationship please visit my coaching page and book a one-on-one email coaching with me and we will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

Do you have a question about your relationship? Send me a message of 2-3 paragraphs explaining your situation for a response. I may also use it in an upcoming post (your privacy will be respected). I must respond to my paying clients first, however. If you would like an immediate response please see my coaching page.


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  1. […] You want to ASSUME that she’s contacting you because she misses you and wants to see you. Why? Because with this mindset you’ll be much more confident when interacting with her. You’ll be much more direct with her, cutting to the chase rather than chit chatting on the phone. As I’ve talked about before, a little back-n-forth of the the typical pleasantries, then confidently get right to the point. […]

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