no contact and social media

No Contact, My Ex and Social Media

A lot of my clients ask me about their ex and social media while in no contact. What does it mean when my ex is watching my stories? What should I do when my ex likes or comments on one of my posts? These are all legit questions and how you handle these situations can make or break you when it comes to whether or not your ex comes back to you. It can cause your ex to lose even more attraction for you, or it can cause their attraction to increase.

I’m going to discuss what certain social media behaviors from your ex mean and how you should handle them during no contact in order to make yourself more attractive and increase your value to your ex.

no contact and social mediaThere are some subtleties to no contact that a lot of people don’t understand. For one thing, no contact shouldn’t be used as some tactic to get your ex back. It’s really for you to begin to heal and to start taking the steps in moving on. Sometimes, a nice bi-product of no contact is your ex begins to miss you, realizes they made a mistake and wants to come back.

No Contact and Social Media

Part of no contact is staying off your ex’s social media, which I know is extremely difficult. However, it only makes the breakup tougher on you, because it keeps your ex prevalent in your thoughts, making you almost obsessed. Plus, you’re going to be devastated if you see something that you really don’t want to see. It’s best that you just stay off your ex’s social media all together. I don’t recommend blocking your ex, but if you can’t control yourself it might be a good idea.

But what does it mean when your ex is looking at, or engaging in your social media?

There could be a number of reasons for that. If it’s close to the breakup, they could just be checking up on you, or perhaps they’re doing it out of habit. I wouldn’t put too much weight in what they’re doing on your social media if it’s close to the breakup. However, if you haven’t been in contact in a month or two or more, it’s a good sign that they’re missing you.

My Ex On My Social Media

If it’s been a few months since the breakup, and you’ve been in no contact, they may be trying to figure out if you’ve moved on, or if there’s someone else in the picture. Should you act on that? Absolutely not, no matter how short or long of a time it’s been. This is NOT them contacting you. Sometimes an ex will begin to test the waters. They may ‘like’ or comment on your posts as a way to see if they will get a response out of you. Do NOT respond to those! Again, this is not them contacting you. It’s okay to like their comment at the most, but do not respond to it. There’s only one time you should respond to any comments on your post from your ex. That’s if they mention missing you or wanting to see you. In which case, tell them you’d love to see them and they should contact you.

Direct Contact Or No Contact

What you really want is direct contact from your ex before you act at all. This means contact over the phone, in person or through a messaging apps. The reason why you don’t want to respond to social media engagement is because they’re putting a safe, low investment into you. Before you can begin to take them even remotely seriously, they must invest much more than just a ‘like’ or comment on one of your posts, or watch your stories.

You need direct contact before you act or reveal your hand at all! If you do respond to these low investment, indirect approaches from your ex, you’re only communicating a cheap price tag for yourself. Which means they will see you as a low value individual and they’ll have little to no respect for you. If there’s no direct contact from your ex, then you must continue no contact. However, if your ex IS engaging in your social media, it’s a good sign that no contact is working.

I Can Help You

Is your ex engaging in your social media; or perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.

If you’d like to view my video on this topic, please click here.

Do you have a question about your relationship? Send me a message of 2-3 paragraphs explaining your situation for a response. I may also use it in an upcoming post (your privacy will be respected). I must respond to my paying clients first, however. If you would like an immediate response please see my coaching page to book emergency coaching.


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  1. Hello, you have great insight sir. Not sure if you’d be interested in helping me, I find your videos applicable to my friendship with a male. He’s a strong Alpha black male, I’m a more passive male. I’m 55, he’s 45. After 4 yrs of building our relationship we had our first major fight. I’ve reached out a little, but giving him space, he has not responded. Lots more to this but thought I’d give you a try if you’re interested. Thank u for your consideration.

    1. Hi Douglas. Thanks for watching my videos & finding my blog! Based on the little info I have about your situation, I’d say that giving him space is the best thing you can do right now. You can’t force anything when the other person isn’t feeling it. Just keep in mind that emotions change like the wind. The negative emotions he’s feeling right now can change after a little space & time. I don’t know what you’ve said to him when you attempted tom reach out, but in situations such as this, it’s best to communicate that you love him & you would like to work things out. Then let him come to you. If you continually contact him, especially when he isn’t responding, it only communicates neediness & that’s not attractive to anyone. However, communicating love, self respect & confidence is very attractive. I realize the anxiety you’re feeling right now is probably over the top, but try saying to him what I suggested & then just be patient. You’ve had 4 years together…no one can walk away from that easily. I do offer more in-depth coaching if you’re interested. Just tap/click on the ‘coaching’ tab at the top for the packages I offer.

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