Getting your ex back: Let it happen

Getting Your Ex Back: Let It Happen

It’s so difficult when your girl ends things and you never had any intention of breaking up. It creates an intense separation anxiety to the point where you would practically do anything to get them back and not feel the pain anymore. She initiated the breakup because she lost attraction for you for any number of reasons. The truth is, women don’t dump men that they love and have a high level of attraction for. She may still have affection for you, where she still cares about you in a brotherly sort of way. However, the thought of staying a couple with you rubs her the wrong way so much that she had to end things with you.

When you don’t agree with your girl’s new terms (ie: a breakup), it’s typically against your wishes. Like most men, you’ll do everything you can to convince her to give you another shot. The problem here is, that you’re trying to force things and make it happen. This never works. What you should be doing instead is to let it happen.

Getting your ex back: Let it happen

In this article, I’m going to explain to how to stop trying to make things work, let go and allow her to come to you. I’m not going to lie, it’s MUCH easier said than done! It’s really the only chance you have if you want long term success in attracting your ex back.

Getting Your Ex Back

Since your girl has broken up with you, the first thing you want to do is to directly communicate to her how you feel and what you want. I’ve actually covered this a couple times already. Then let her go. It’s counter-intuitive to getting your ex back, but what you have to realize is that this relationship is over. At this time, her heart is closed off for you. There’s a chance that you can start a new relationship with her in the future, but this one is done. You two are now in different places in your head and heart. The only way for you two to be in the same place again is to allow her space and time to miss you, and to figure it out.

Most guys want to fight for their ex. We see this in the movies and it always works out great in the movies. Society perpetuates this false belief, as well. This only communicates your NEED for her. Your neediness just lowers your value and this causes her to lose respect for you. It demonstrates your weakness. You’re putting out a vibe of panic and desperation, which is very unattractive to women. Masculine energy is about confidence and being an emotional rock; where you can’t be pushed off center. Women find those traits to be very attractive in a man. She has lost attraction for you. So, you chasing, begging and pleading is only reinforcing her plummeting attraction. By you trying to force the re-connection, it also causes her to dig in her heels, pushing her even further away, emotionally.

Let It Happen

What you need to do is to demonstrate instead is your strength and self respect. You must also let her go. Find it in yourself a way to be happy without her in your life. The best way to do this is by turning your focus to the positive things in your life that are working for you. It doesn’t matter how big or small they may be. By focusing on what you don’t want (ie: her moving on without you), the vibe you’re putting out there is only going to become more intense. You’re essentially attracting more of what you don’t want.

You get what you focus on in life. Turn your attention on the positive things in your life and you’ll attract more of that. When you find yourself putting your energy into the positive, happy things in your life, your mind isn’t so focused on what you don’t want. You’re distracting your mind away from the bad with the good. You would be putting more positive vibes out into the universe. This will make yourself more relaxed and accepting of what has just happened in your relationship. The quicker you can bring yourself into this mindset, the quicker you’ll be hearing from your ex. This new, positive vibe you’re putting out there is very attractive to women, and people in general.

She Will Sense Your Positive Energy

Have you ever noticed with your breakups in the past that as soon as you let go and move on, your ex suddenly contacts you? It doesn’t happen every single time, because they do have to have some sort of residual feelings, but it’s like women have a sixth sense for you moving on. You’re no longer pining away for her, checking your phone every 15 minutes to see if they sent you a text, nor checking their social media 50 times a day, keeping those negative vibes swirling around your head. No, because you’ve accepted that the relationship is over and you’re attention is on yourself, your goals, your accomplishments and your social life. Perhaps there’s even a new girl, or a couple new girls, that are showing interest in you. You will be beaming with confidence!

If she cares about you enough, and if there isn’t another guy stealing her attention, she’s going to be subconsciously picking up on these vibes. As a result, she will be looking for a way to get your attention again. So, if your girl has broken up with you and you want your ex back, trust the process and let it happen. Just don’t wait for her or try to force it. That never works!

I Can Help You

If you need help getting your ex back, or perhaps you are having some issues with your dating and/or relationships. I can help. Please visit my coaching page and book a private, one-on-one email coaching with me and we will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

You can watch the video version of my article here.

Do you have a question about this topic or your relationship? Send me a message of 2-3 paragraphs explaining your situation for a response. I may also use it in an upcoming post (your privacy will be respected). I must respond to my paying clients first, however. If you would like an immediate response please see my coaching page to book emergency or monthly coaching.


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  1. Hi coach, I’m a male in my mid 40s, my ex is in her late 30s divorced with a child, we went out over a year, ..we were really good together, so I thought, wined,dined,her the whole 9…then she dropped a bombshell on me..a month ago ..she had a pregnancy scare n realized she didn’t love me…..n needed the old space n time,I’ve been a month on nc…but feel I’ve lost her already, it’s crushing, I asked if there was another guy ,she said no…i wanna believe her…but have doubts…any tips, pointers be appreciated…thnks coach…im still thinking of doing a 1 on 1 sooon..

    1. Hi Dewey. That sucks! Definitely a difficult situation. All you can do right now is to remain in ‘no contact’ and continue giving her the space & time to figure things out, and more importantly, letting her feel what life is like without you. If she values you & truly loves you, I promise she will not let you go permanently. You saying “wined & dined her” tells me there are some areas of your game that could be cleaned up. Women are typically most attracted to a man’s confidence, behavior & personality…& that is usually almost the opposite of what most men believe. It’s very counter-intuitive than what society has lead you to believe. Perhaps some one on one coaching could help.

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