Not letting you go does not mean that she loves you

Not Letting You Go Does Not Mean Love

It takes a lot of strength in order to let go of the wrong girl. Sometimes it’s even more difficult than choosing the right girl. Occasionally you avoid ending a relationship because you don’t want to hurt her. Sometimes it’s because you fear her reaction. Other times it’s because you truly love the girl, but the relationship just isn’t working anymore. Of course there are times where you’re thoughts on the pending breakup are, “good riddance!” For whatever reason, she pushed you too far & the last thing you want is another day with her. She may apologize for whatever she did, but it’s too late. By this point, the damage has been done & there’s no turning back. Whatever the reason for the breakup, it’s rarely easy to just walk away from a woman you’re invested in & love deeply. And for her, letting you go won’t be easy either.

That’s one of the things that’s tough about being a man; sometimes you have to make very difficult decisions. Even tougher, you also have to follow through with those difficult decisions.

Sometimes, no matter what you do or say she’s just not interested in letting you go. This can be flattering at first, thinking that she must really love you. This often will cause a man to give her another chance. If she’s not letting you go, continues to flirt & show you attention, does it really mean that she just loves you too much?

Not letting you go does not mean that she loves you

Does It Mean Love?

Just because a woman is not interested in letting you go does not necessarily mean that it’s being done out of deep love for you. It can certainly seem like that’s the reason. In some cases that IS the reason; she just loves you too much & she feels that she can’t be without you. Other times it’s not so cut & dry. You really have to take an honest look at what you’re providing her & what you’re receiving in return.

People will argue with me, “love is not about what you get from the other person!” That is true for the most part; it’s about giving…and taking. However, there comes a point when you may realize that you’re doing all the giving & she’s doing all the taking.

She’s Not Letting You Go

Do you really believe a woman is going to easily give you up when she’s getting a lot from you & not having to give you much, or anything, in return? Not likely. She’s going to fight to keep all that attention, validation & anything else you provide her with. This is one of the reasons why you want to be sure that she’s carrying her weight in the relationship. This is a topic I’ve covered a couple times in my videos and articles in the past. Once things become unbalanced, especially in her favor, you will find yourself frustrated, resentful & eventually exhausted; maybe even losing attraction in HER. Yes, men lose emotional attraction for women too; though, if a woman is hot it usually takes a lot more for a man to walk away than it would for a woman.

Perhaps you’re just too damn convenient to her for her to easily let you go. Maybe you’re paying her bills. Perhaps the sex is too good(yes, some women use men for just sex). Possibly you know what buttons to push emotionally that makes her feel like a woman. Why would she want to give any of that up simply because you’re feeling unfulfilled & ready to walk away? She’s going to fight to keep you, & in many cases she will say or do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal. However, as soon as you give-in she will most likely go right back to the same behavior that drove you away to begin with. Then you find yourself in the exact same position you were just in & wanting to leave again. It’s really just her playing games with you.

This can turn into a never-ending makeup/breakup cycle, not only driving you absolutely crazy, but preventing you from meeting a woman who truly does love you & will happily earn your love everyday.

Communicate Your Needs

How do you know the difference between a woman who genuinely loves you & a woman who just wants to keep you around for her benefit? How do you know that you’re just convenient & provide her with the necessities? I wrote an article about women not meeting your needs & also a video about women keeping you in limbo, or stringing you along. I would take a look at those before you pull the trigger on ending the relationship if you find yourself in this situation. However, to more or less clear it up here; first, you must communicate to her where she’s falling short. There’s a difference between being needy & communicating your needs. When you communicate your needs, you want to basically tell her what you expect from her & in a relationship. This is not needy. It becomes needy when you find yourself begging for whatever she’s not giving you.

Needs vs Being Needy

It’s needy when you’re basing your happiness on what she can or cannot give you. When a strong man, or an alpha male, finds that his needs are not being met by the woman, he communicates that to her. If she still cannot, or will not, rectify that, he gets his needs met elsewhere. I would never suggest that you cheat on your girl. It’s best to end the relationship if her behavior continues. However, if she does, in fact, truly love you & wants to keep you, she will do what it takes to rectify the issue, at least within reason.

If she truly loved you, she would stay on top of her game. Even if she accidentally became a little lazy or complacent after you bringing it up she would do what it takes to convey that you’re valued. She would not just sit back & let you do everything, or worse, let you just slip away.

That’s how you know if her not being interested in letting you go is genuine or not; she will step up her game. Don’t expect her to be doing everything where you don’t have to lift a finger. Like I said, a relationship takes two people, giving & taking.

She’s Fighting To Keep You

Don’t think that just because she’s fighting to keep you in her life that it means anything significant. Like I said, it COULD mean that she genuinely loves you, but not necessarily. As I’ve said before, you have to pay more attention to a woman’s actions, over her words. Her actions will never lie. She could easily tell you all the things you want to hear. When you’re craving to hear it you’re going to easily fall for it. Feminine manipulation is real, & they’re masters at it! Most girls have been manipulating men, like their fathers, & boys their own age since they were little girls. They have lots of practice.

So, you must be objective about her if & when it ever gets to this point.

Why is this important when it comes to attraction? Because if she is manipulating you & pulling the wool over your eyes, the fact that you’re not picking it up is eventually going to cause her to lose respect for you, little by little, over time. Don’t allow your own love & attraction for her blind you from reality.

In Conclusion

So, if you want out of the relationship, & she begins to fight to keep you, objectively look at her actions as a whole. Maybe even the future if you feel that her fighting to keep you is the real deal. While her words do matter, they’re meaningless unless she backs them up with her actions. The topic of this blog article is a perfect example; not letting you go doesn’t mean it’s love. Let her show you just how much she loves you!

I Can Help You

Are you having trouble with a girl not letting you go? Is it truly love? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, attraction, women, dating/relationships.

If you’d like to watch my video on this topic, please click here.


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  1. Hi @Coach for an ON and OFF relationship, she came back saying I love you and have sex , but after 6 month she pull back again and threaten another breakup, if we choose to walk away , does that mean if she reach out after NO contact , we will ignore her completely and there is No respond No more text …or we just tell her in return ” I Dump you” ! Or just walk without a word No matter she blow up the phone or come to the house we just walk and silent …we dont take her back?

    1. It’s really dependent upon what you’re willing to accept. There’s nothing wrong with just dating/sleeping with her casually if you can handle that without becoming jealous if she’s talking to other guys. Personally, I can’t casually date a ex/woman I love. For me, it’s either all or nothing.

  2. So I broke up with my girlfriend 3 years ago. But last year before we stared talking I found out that she was messing with one of my friend brother I used to be cool with and it’s hunting me right now. That they had a thing for 3 months. I didn’t found out until few months ago. Should I let her know. I can’t get rid of it in my head that another man touched her even though we were not together. It bother me so much to the point im losing interest and don’t want to be with her. She used to text me here snd there but I found out that was the time they were messing around. And I was the backup. She now introduced me to her parents and cousins but it’s not in my heart to continue but I don’t want to tell her because it’s too late she already introduced me to her family. I know she will be very heartbroken but I don’t know what to do

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