Man or woman, you attract who you are.

We all want a quality mate. They should be exceptionally good looking, a good sense of humor, emotionally stable, have an exciting life and have their shit together, and whatever other traits and qualities are personally important to you. For most of us, without even really realizing it, we seem to believe we’re owed this type of person. We’re good people and we’ve been playing by the rules our entire life. Don’t we deserve the perfect mate?

It’s Important To Bring Value

But what do you have to offer? What value do you bring to the table? Why would this incredible, gorgeous woman, who ticks all your boxes, choose you as opposed to someone else? She wants the best too! And let me clue you in on a little something, women almost always date and marry UP; or at least to their equivalent status. I’m not at all saying that women are beneath you. Whomever you decide to begin a relationship with, you want a partner. Someone who is an equal, who compliments you, where you can grow together. However, on a biological and instinctual level, women are wired to seek out the strongest, most ambitious, purpose-driven, exciting, confident man they can attract. This helps guarantee the strongest offspring.

Think of things like getting into a good school, landing your dream job, or advancing in your career. You’re not going to get any of those things unless they see that you bring value. It’s the same in your romantic life. If you want the best, you have to be the best. You attract who you are.

When it comes to attraction it’s so important for men to be at the top of their game, or at the very least on their way there. If you want to date and mate with attractive, high quality women this is what you must do to get there.

Men Must Create Their Value

Most women know you’re a work in progress. Very rarely does any man under the age of 40 have his life completely together. Over 40, much more men have their shit together, but nowhere near ALL men. Women look at men as if they have potential or not. She will always be judging you and testing you to see if you still got it, if you’re still moving forward; even when you’re married. When you begin dropping the ball consistently over time, or if you’ve given up completely, her attraction will drop. She will begin to wonder if she could do better.

This is all instinctual on her part. She needs to be ensured that she’s either mating with the strongest, most dominant male; or she and her offspring are safe and protected by the strongest, most dominant male. So, in order to project your strength and dominance, you must always be striving to improving yourself. This does not just monetarily, but in all aspects of your life. You’re not just doing it for her, but for yourself as well.

Men get caught up in being a good provider. Sadly, so many believe that’s where their worth begins and ends. It’s actually much more than that. Many women will settle for a good provider, but if that’s all you bring to the table, they will never truly love you, respect you or be happy in the relationship. They may stick by your side because you’re a good provider, but they will always be pining for the fun, sexy alpha of their past.

You Attract Who You Are

In order to get the full package, you must become the full package. You attract who you are. If you’re completely fine with settling for an average life, expect to attract, at least, an average girl; usually less than average. As I mentioned before, women tend to date and marry up.

It would be more accurate to say that the female sexual instinct is hypergamous….women have simple tastes in the manner of Oscar Wilde: They are always satisfied with the best.
– F. Roger Devlin

Think about what you want for yourself and what you want in a partner. That’s what you want to shoot for. Women are attracted to men with drive, passion and ambition. This doesn’t necessarily mean in your career, but if you can combine passion and your career you’re in a very good spot in life. It’s not just your drive and ambition that make you attractive. It’s also your personality, your confidence, your assertiveness, your humor, your wit and of course your health and physical appearance.

To achieve all this you need a purpose, or a mission in your life, most importantly. You must also brush up on your social skills, as well as your physical and emotional health. Building your own social circle, one that doesn’t necessarily involve your girl, is also important. You and your girl need some sort of a life that is separate from each other. It’s almost impossible to maintain attraction if you spend every waking minute with each other; and going to work everyday doesn’t really count.

So, figure out what you want in life, envision it, manifest a mental image and begin to take the steps towards your goals. Strive to be the best at what you do!  You will notice your confidence increasing and the romantic part of your life will fall into place. You will attract who you are. However, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to try with women. You still have to practice game. Just remember, what you’re passionate about and accomplishing your goals is for you, and not just to attract women.

I Can Help You

If you need help becoming the best man you can be and attract who you are, or perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships. I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

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Do you have a question about your relationship? Send me a message of 2-3 paragraphs explaining your situation for a response. I may also use it in an upcoming post (your privacy will be respected). I must respond to my paying clients first, however. If you would like an immediate response please see my coaching page to book emergency coaching.

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