common mistakes men make with women

10 Most Common Mistakes Men Make With Women

These common mistakes men make with women are all things that you really want to drill into your head. You hearing them right now, you’re going to be like, “Well, yeah…of course”. It’s when you really start to like a girl, or when in a relationship that’s not going well, much of this just comes rising up to the surface. That’s when you really begin to make mistakes. It’s what I often refer to as the “beta backslide”.

common mistakes men make with women

Why Men Make Mistakes With Women

Why does that happen? Why do so many men begin to fall into a “beta backslide” when their emotions or attraction for a woman are strong? It’s because, one, you haven’t built up your confidence enough, & two, you’ve been conditioned to behave this way since you were a young child. You see it in all the movies & TV shows. You read about how you should be behaving. Your friends have been conditioned the same way, so they recommend that you behave this way. The women in your life, whether that be your mother, father, sister, brother or even female friends have all been conditioned the same way.

It’s almost like you can’t escape it. And any time that you second guess your actions, or lack of action, you get advice from any one of these sources & you’re led back in the wrong direction.

I hear it all the time from my coaching clients, “Coach, I took your advice, but then my friends said that I should be doing this or that”. Then they find themselves right back to where they started, having the same issues, booking time with me again. That’s got to be really frustrating. It’s certainly frustrating for me. I honestly want you guys to succeed & not have to use my services again. That’s how I know that I have succeeded.

Throughout my years of coaching men, I have found these to be the 10 most common mistakes men make with women. If you struggle with any of these issues you MUST begin working on correcting them if you want to find success with women & relationships.

Mistake #1 –  You’re Too Much of a Nice Guy

This one can be really confusing for men & probably one the biggest mistakes men make with women, because we always hear women say, “I just want a nice guy”. However, they don’t really mean ”nice guy”.

Ask yourself, how many gorgeous women do you know who are involved with nice guys? The answer to that is simple; none. Those women are dating he so-called “jerks”. But are these guys really jerks? No, they’re not. Occasionally they’re total a-holes, but for the most part these men are just putting themselves first. They’re self-validating where they’re not looking for her, or anyone else’s approval. They speak their mind & they do what’s best for themselves. There’s more to this of course, but you get the idea.

Women respect & admire these men; two key ingredients for sparking & maintaining a woman’s attraction. Many of these men are quite kind. They’re generous, they’re not bullies, they’re looking out for the little guy & they treat their girl & others with respect. Doesn’t really sound like a jerk to me.

Being “nice” doesn’t cause women to feel attraction. It may spark affection for you, which is important too, but not as important as attraction. What I just explained as the so-called “jerk” is what sparks a woman’s deep, visceral attraction for a man. This is a cold-hard fact, despite what anyone else says.

Mistake #2 – Thinking You Need Money & Good Looks

This is another commonality when it comes to mistakes men make with women. Yes, of course looks do matter to women & if you’re planning a life together, money matters. However, we’re talking about attraction here. Women are far more drawn to a man’s personality, vibe & behavior over his looks or money.

Being good looking & being rich will certainly help you to attract girls. However, without having a fun & attractive vibe & a masculine frame, even the good looking, rich men will not be able to hold onto a woman & her attraction for long. Having the right personality traits will attract women like a moth to a flame. They can’t help but to feel attraction for you. Have you ever wondered, how the hell did “that guy” get that beautiful girl? Well, this is why in most cases. I talk about these traits in many of my videos & articles.

Mistake #3 – Trying to Convince Her to Like You

Many men believe that if a woman is showing little to no interest that they can convince her to feel differently. I’ve done this in the past myself & it’s always left me frustrated & saying to myself, “If she could just see my good qualities”. Or, “If she just gives me a chance I know I can change her mind”. I’m sure many of you have done this too, but it’s needy, desperate behavior.

Here’s the deal; you can’t use logic to change a woman’s emotions. She either feels it or she doesn’t. Giving her a list of all your good qualities, bragging about your accomplishments or showing off what you can do is not going to change that. Besides, women don’t care about how YOU feel about her. She only cares about how SHE feels about you. If a woman isn’t showing you interest, move on. Your time is better spent on women who ARE showing you interest. And whatever you do, do NOT become her friend thinking that you can change her mind. Thinking that if you just hang in there long enough & show her all your good boyfriend qualities she’ll fall in love. It won’t work & you’ll just be wasting your time.

Mistake #4 – Trying to Buy Her Love & Affection

This is another one that many men do. This is typically because men think that women only like them if they have money.

Like I just mentioned, this does nothing in terms of a woman’s attraction for you. In fact, many women see it as supplication. What you’re communicating to her is, “I’m not good enough on my own, so I’m going to buy you a bunch of gifts & take you on extravagant dates”. It actually lowers your value, because in a woman’s mind a high value man would be able to attract her without all this materialistic stuff.

If, or when, you’re in a relationship with her, then it’s okay to buy her gifts. But even then, you don’t want to overdo it. Remember, you’re only giving her a gift because you want to & not as a way to get something out of her.

Mistake #5 – Sharing How You Feel Too Soon

I’ve covered this quite a few times in the past. Many men feel that if they share how they feel about a woman that she will fall hopelessly in love with them, but they often do it far too soon.

When it comes to attraction, as I mentioned before, women don’t care about how you feel about them. They only care about how they feel about YOU. And when you don’t give her a little mystery & let her wonder where this is all going, she’ll lose interest quickly. It’s like telling her the end of a great book or movie; you’ve left her with no reason to continue. She knows exactly what’s going to happen. It’s predictable & boring.

If you REALLY like her, just take it easy. Let her come to you. If she likes you & feels attraction for you just as much, you’re not going to lose her to another guy. You don’t need to lock her down. Just focus on getting her out on dates, having fun & gently leading her into the bedroom. That’s it.

Mistake #6 – Giving Away All Your Power

A lot of men believe that if they just do whatever the woman wants, that it’ll make her happy & make her like them more. Even many women THINK this is what they want; that is, until they get a man who just gives her whatever she wants. Then she begins to feel disgust & a loss of respect.

One of the most important parts of maintaining a woman’s attraction is maintaining her respect for you. In fact, they will never admit it, but women actually WANT their man to hold the power. Women have zero respect for men they can walk all over & manipulate. Of course they’ll try, but it’s up to you to recognize it & stand up to that. What’s cool about that is, they’ll like you even more for taking a stand. It shows strength & confidence. Two traits that women crave in a man.

Mistake #7 – Seeking Her Approval

This sort of goes hand in hand with giving all your power away. I cringe about the time when I asked a girl I just started dating for her permission to go to a wedding with a female friend of mine. Yeah, I did that. Men who seek a woman’s approval or permission are not at all attractive. Women like men who do what they want, say what they want, & take what they want; within reason of course. They have little to no respect, nor admiration, for men who act like little boys seeking their mommy’s approval.

I’m not suggesting that you should treat women badly, or that you shouldn’t consider them at all when making decisions, but never do that to score points with them. You’re the decisive leader & women expect that in a man.

Mistake #8 – You Don’t Get How Attraction Works

If you’ve been reading my blog, then you should know by now that men & women operate very differently when it comes to attraction. It would be nice if women understood this too, but I’m talking to you men. We feel immediate attraction for women who are young & beautiful. The youth part is mainly about fertility. It’s not so much about age like many believe. A lot of women like to shame us for being attracted to younger women, but that’s something that we cannot help. It’s simply instinct.

It’s also instinct for women to be attracted to a man who is confident, emotionally strong, & on the road to success & high status. Basically it boils down to how a man makes her feel. It’s best that you just learn to accept this, because there’s no way to change that. It won’t be changing in our lifetime.

Learn how to talk & flirt with women. Study the body language that women find attractive & conveys your status & confidence. Learn & practice how to communicate with them. With this, you’ll find women to be very naturally drawn to you, even if you aren’t the best looking guy in the room. A woman’s attraction for a man is all biological & psychological wiring. Like I said; instinct.

Mistake #9 – You Don’t “Get It”

One of the best compliments I ever got from a woman was when she wrapped her arms around me, looked up at me with her big, pretty eyes & pretty smile & said, “I’m so lucky. It’s like you just get it”.

Women want men who “get it”. They may not know how to explain what “it” means, but they certainly know it when they meet man who does get it.

Getting it basically means that you know what to do & how to do it in any given situation with women. You get when to set a date, when to make a move, know that she’s giving you hints, or indicators of interest & how you should respond. But it’s not just for the fun stuff. She also wants a man who knows when to give her space, understand when she’s upset, knows how to comfort her when she needs it, & so on.

The thing is, women KNOW when you don’t know what to do. They know, but they’ll rarely help you, because if they help you then your words & actions will not be authentic. I’ve said it many times before, women want authenticity in a man. This is why if you say to a woman, “just tell me what to do & I’ll do it” they’ll just scoff & roll their eyes. Plus, women despise having to teach a man how to be a man.

Mistake #10 – You Don’t Seek Help

Our male egos often prevent us from getting help, or we get embarrassed that we do need help. Perhaps it’s like you’re admitting defeat. But it’s not. I mean, you go to school to learn so you can be a productive member of society & go on to get a good paying job. This is no different than going to school, except that it’s not formal. You’re getting yourself educated. I’m telling ya, once you get yourself on this path & commit to it, you will begin to feel so much better about yourself. You’ll feel more confident, more driven, better looking even.

You’ll notice more women checking you out, you’ll notice your social life getting better; maybe even getting a better job or starting your own business.

Now, I can see where you might be thinking that this is all an advertisement for my services, but the truth is, there are plenty of avenues for you to seek help & get yourself on the right track. I just want you guys to succeed, whether it be through me or another way.

In Conclusion

So, those are the top 10 most common mistakes men make when it comes to women. You’ll probably make more mistakes—we all do from time to time—but, correcting these particular mistakes will make your success with women so much more frequent & your interactions & relationships to be of a much higher quality.

I Can Help You

Do you need help with the common mistakes men make with women? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, attraction, women, dating/relationships.

Of you’d like to watch my video on this topic, please click here.


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