Key To Getting Your Ex Back

I’ve done a few articles and videos on how to get your ex back. I made those mostly for those of you who are experiencing a recent breakup and experiencing the separation anxiety is high. When you’re in that mindset, it doesn’t matter what anyone says; you’re hurting and you just want the pain to go away. The best and quickest way to kill that pain is to reunite with the woman who just broke your heart.

I wrote these articles and made these videos to show you that it CAN be done, but it’s a process; oftentimes a slow process. Those articles and videos also explain the steps that you need to take in order make the process move a long a little quicker, as well as, to help ensure that you’ll get your ex back.

Just know that no matter what you do, there is never a guarantee that you’ll get your ex back. Sometimes you can do everything right, but she’s just lost too much interest. In that case, she won’t come back to you. Or, what can be even worse, she’s now with someone else. That will often prevent her from coming back, because her energy and thoughts are no longer directed on you, but on the new guy. It sucks when she moves on so quickly, but there’s not a damn thing that you can do about it. No matter the situation, the ball is in her court.

Girlfriend Withdrawal

Going through a breakup is truly like going through drug or alcohol withdrawal, where the only thing you’re focused on is getting another hit of the drug so you feel normal again. And getting a hit of that drug, whether that means simply just talking to your ex, spending time with her, holding her in your arms again, or sleeping with her really does relieve the pain. It’s no wonder that people are acting almost insane and doing or saying things that they normally would never do or say during a breakup.

Everyone goes through this pain to some degree. It doesn’t matter how good you are with women, it doesn’t matter how red pilled you are; if you had real feelings for her, it’s going to hurt when you split up.

So don’t feel like you’re being a little bitch because you’re experiencing heartbreak. It’s a natural reaction to losing someone who you love. You’re going to grieve that loss for a while. You’ll have good days and bad days, and go through the grieving process like losing anybody important in your life. Just stick to No Contact.

While I could write another article about the steps that you must take to get your ex back, there is one thing that many other coaches, or many other “get your ex back” programs, don’t talk about is, your mindset.

It’s Mostly About Your Mindset

I’ve said before. When attracting women, and maintaining that attraction, it’s mostly about having the right mindset. You could have a big, fat bank account, a body like Chris Hemsworth, and hung like Johnny Sins; if you don’t have the right mindset, you’re not going to be keeping the girl around long. She might stick around a little longer if you have all these things, but it’ll be because she’s using you. It won’t be due to true gut-level attraction.

It takes the right mindset to attract her in the first place and keep her attracted. It takes that same mindset to get your ex back.

Re-Attract To Get Your Ex Back

Getting an ex back really isn’t “getting her back”, exactly. It’s re-attracting her. It’s important to understand the difference, because the only true reason why she broke up with you is due to a loss of attraction.

Women don’t leave men with whom they experience a rather high level of attraction and love for. Despite what some men believe, women don’t upgrade to men with a higher sexual market value if they feel a strong attraction for you. They won’t choose a single life, or their career, or school, or anything else if they feel a strong attraction for you. They just won’t, except maybe in extreme circumstances. But, even then, it’s usually temporary.

This is about re-attracting your ex in order to get your ex back. However, what’s wrong with phrasing it that way, or worse, saying, “get your ex back”? It’s because you’re directing your energy onto her. Your focus is on her and you’re attempting to force the connection.

Never Chase An Ex

This is one of the reasons that you don’t want to chase after her. Don’t send her flowers, don’t keep calling or texting her, don’t show up unannounced to wherever she’s at, and certainly don’t do any grand romantic gestures. Besides the fact that stuff only works in the movies, having so much of your energy on her, trying to change how she feels, is actually repelling her.

She can actually feel your needy energy. That just communicates that you don’t believe in the viability of your connection, that you must force it in order for it to work. Hearing it that way doesn’t sound too good, does it? It’s like saying to her, “Look, this connection, or relationship, is so weak. I need to make it work. This will make you FEEL attraction for me again”. That’s kind of a ridiculous idea, don’t you think? And, like I said, she’s feeling this energy.

Attractive Energy

That’s really what women fall in love with; your energy and ultimately how you make them feel when they’re with you. And women tend to reflect the energy you’re putting out there. When you’re just having fun and you feel good about where you are in life. Because of this, you’re confident and you’re not attached to outcomes. You’re not getting too deep emotionally and you put out that sexual vibe. Basically, you’re just keeping things light, playful and a little sexual. She’s not going to be able to resist that energy. On the other hand, when you’re needy and experiencing lack in your life, that’s not something she wants to be around.

The idea here is that you need to get out of that head space where you’re so attached to her. You can’t be so focused on an outcome with her, where every thought of everyday is about her and getting your ex back. That energy is actually pushing her way, doing the exact opposite of re-attracting her.

Let Her Go

You MUST let go if you want her back. This doesn’t mean to just completely forget about her and turning your heart to ice. It means letting go of the need to control the outcome. It’s outcome independence. With this mindset you’re not attached to any particular outcome. Yes, of course you want her, but you don’t NEED her. You’re fine with whatever the outcome may be. It doesn’t change your feelings for her.

Many people believe that if they don’t have these obsessive thoughts about their girl, then it’s not real love. Sometimes even women believe this; that if their man, or their ex, isn’t completely obsessed with them, then he must not care. That’s ridiculous!

So how do you let go? There’s a lot to this, but a good place to start is to turn the focus onto yourself. This is one of the reasons I’m always telling you guys to turn the focus onto YOU anytime a woman is treating you like a low priority. You’re not directing your needy energy onto her which, like I said, is only pushing her away.

You Can’t Control Her

You can’t control her and you certainly can’t control her feelings. Women tend to act on their current emotional state, which is always in flux. If she’s not feeling connected to you, or her attraction is low, you’re going to be a low priority. However, if she’s feeling connected to you and feeling attraction, you’re going to be number one. This is why you have to let women come to you at their own pace. Sometimes she doesn’t come to you, but other times she does. And when you’re not attached to an outcome with her, it gives her the space and freedom to do so at her own pace. She will feel a MUCH bigger pull towards you this way.

When she stops feeling your focused energy on her, it will almost set off internal alarm bells in her. As an example, when she feels your needy, focused energy, she doesn’t feel any urgency to reach out to you. She knows that you’re waiting there for her. On the other hand, when she’s no longer feeling that energy, all the sudden there’s an urgency. She’s wondering what happened to you. “Does he not love me anymore? Is he not thinking of me any longer? Did he meet someone new? Oh shit! I might lose him forever if I don’t take action!” See how that works?

You Need To Stop Caring

Anytime I’ve had an ex come back to me it was when I stopped caring about her return. I got to the point where I accepted that it was over. That’s really what you have to do. Accept that it’s over and let go of the need to control things to get the desired outcome. If and when she does come back, then you’re starting a new relationship. But this one is over.

In Conclusion

So, if you’ve been broken-up with recently and you want your ex back, or even if you don’t want her back, focus on you. Pursue your goals and hobbies, take care of your health and fitness (body, mind, spirit), and go be social. Its important that you hang out with friends and make new friends, which includes meeting and dating new women. The easiest way to let go and move on is to date other women. I’m not suggesting that you get into another relationship, because you need time to heal, but dating is completely fine and recommended. Just be sure you tell women that you’re not looking for anything serious right now.

If you do this, I guarantee that you will either re-attract your ex, or you’ll meet a new girl who is equal or better quality. In fact, anytime I’ve moved on and got involved with a new girl, I always end up upgrading. She’s hotter, better in bed, aligns more with what I’m looking for, and that will be the case for you too. It probably won’t happen right away, but it WILL happen. You WILL find love again.

I Can Help You

Do you need help with getting your ex back? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

Also, be sure to join the FREE Skill Of Attraction community, and check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, attraction, women, dating/relationships.

If you would like to watch my video on this topic, click HERE

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