13 Signs She’s Stringing You Along

A woman stringing you along can be very confusing, but it happens all the time. She makes you believe that something is going to happen soon between you two, but it never does. This is one of many forms of female manipulation.

For those of you who don’t understand what the term “stringing you along” means, it’s when a woman is making it seem like you’re close to a relationship, or sex, with her if you just keep waiting a little longer, or if you do certain things for her. Basically, she’s dangling the carrot in front of your face, but pulling it away as soon as you get close. Almost like a little game for her.

You may be thinking, “why doesn’t a guy just walk away?” Well, that’s exactly what he should do! However, when you’re emotionally invested and you have created a fantasy of this girl, walking away is easier said than done. Plus, a woman stringing you along will often imply that a relationship, sex, or a date is right around the corner, but it never comes. It’s easy to walk away if you’ve just met the girl. If you’ve spent a lot of time with her, or maybe you were even in a relationship with her, but the relationship changed, it can be very difficult to just walk away.

When I Was Strung Along

Something like this happened to me once. We had been dating for close to two years by this time; we were in a relationship and there was a future. But at some point there was significant change in her life, and as a result, everything changed between us. She still told me how much she loved me, but everything else was different. Naturally, I thought she just needed some time. After all, I was completely in love with the girl and I figured it was just a matter of time. I wasn’t going to pressure her.

With all the struggles, it started to hit me. She wasn’t invested anymore. I was taking taking the lead, but she wasn’t following. I tried to get answers out of her, but she always changed the subject, or gave me a bunch of excuses. However, she implied that if I was just a little more patient, the relationship that we had, which was absolutely amazing, would be back. In reality, it was moving further away.

When I would end the relationship and walk away, she would come chasing after me. She would tell me how much she loved me, how she needed me and how she couldn’t live without me in her life. She would be really invested. I’d take her back and, lo and behold, a week or two later we were right back to where we were. The exact situation I walked away from.

It started to slowly hit me; she as stringing me along. She was doing this because she wanted my attention and validation and she didn’t want t lose that. It made her feel good about herself, beautiful and desired. However, I got absolutely nothing out of it. When I would mention this, she would attempt to shame me, saying that I only wanted her for sex, or that I was being selfish. But it became obvious; she was stringing me along. Like I often say, pay more attention to her actions and less attention to her words. Her actions will tell you all that you need to know.

Signs She’s Stringing You Along

It’s important for men to know the signs when a woman is stringing you along. Below you will find 13 common signs that she’s stringing you along, why you’re falling for it and what you can do to stop it. If you continue going along with this, it will eventually turn into resentment towards her and anger towards yourself for continuing to fall for it.

These signs are in no particular order. If you notice just one or two of these signs with your girl, it’s possible that she’s not exactly stringing you along. She may just be sitting on the fence about you. However, the more and more of these signs you notice in your “situationship”, the more likely it is that she’s just playing you.

She’s Usually Unavailable For Dates

Anytime you try to arrange a date with her, she just gives you excuses, or she agrees, but flakes at the last minute. Occasionally she may agree to go out with you, but it’s under the condition that it’s in a group setting. Don’t agree to these group dates, or get-togethers, unless she’s also making private dates with you. These dates should be where you actually go out and are not just hanging out at your or her place. If you do go out with her and her girlfriends, or in a group setting, this is not a date. There will be no romance and there will certainly be no intimacy. She’s just placating you in order to keep your attention.

She Doesn’t Like Labels

This basically just means that she will not put a label on the “relationship” between you two. She will not call it a relationship. There will be no ‘boyfriend’ label for you. She will not call herself your girlfriend. At the most you’ll get a label of “just friends”. Now, it’s true that you should never try to get her to put a label on it no matter if she’s stringing you along, or if you’re actually dating. You don’t want to be relationship-focused. That’s her job. However, if you’ve had something romantic with her for a while, she should naturally be putting a label on it.

She Says The Timing Isn’t Right

This is when she says that she’s not interested in a relationship “right now”. Her reasoning is she’s focusing on herself, or maybe that she’s not ready yet. She may say that she wants to finish school first, or she’s too busy at work right now. It could be any excuse she comes up with. It may sound legitimate, but it’s just an excuse. The truth is, if she really liked or loved you, she wouldn’t risk losing you. She wouldn’t risk another girl coming along and snatching you up. Women know a good, high value man is difficult to find. So she wouldn’t want to risk losing a catch like yourself. Plus, she would WANT to be in a relationship with you!

She Keeps You/Your Relationship A Secret

If she’s not bragging about you to her girlfriends and family, she doesn’t think of you all that highly. It’s one thing if you’ve only been out on a couple of dates, but a woman who feels a high level of attraction and love for you, she wants the world to know what a catch she’s found. She wants everyone to know that she’s in love. If she’s keeping you and/or your relationship a secret, it means that she sees you as low value, but she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. It could also mean that she’s just using you for your attention.

She Talks About Future Plans, You’re Not In Them

If she’s talking about all the things she has planned for the future, but your name isn’t popping up in those plans, she doesn’t see you in her future. Now, I’m not talking about her plans for next week. I’m talking about her plans in the coming years, or her plans for life. A woman who is in love with you is fantasizing about a life and future with you.

She Avoids Serious Topics

Once you begin to catch on that she may be stringing you along, you’re most likely going to start asking questions. You’re going to want to figure out where you stand with her if it’s not already obvious. In return, she will change the subject when you bring it up, or she’ll straight up ignore your questions. She’s getting all your love, attention and validation for free. So why would she ruin a good thing? When I went through this, she would always change the subject to something sexual to distract me, but I wasn’t falling for it.

She’s Only Invested When…

You’ll notice that she’s not all that invested in you and treats you like a low priority, but all that changes when she realizes that she’s losing you. It’s the only time she’ll fight to keep you. She’ll also invest heavily in you when she needs something from you, like favor or something. Or, in many cases, if she notices another woman stealing your attention away. The rest of the time it’s almost like she doesn’t care.

She Gives You A False Sense Of Progress

There will be times when she’ll tell you, or at least imply, that things are moving forward between you two. She’ll tell you that if you’re just a little more patient and you behave, she will be yours soon. Of course this encourages you to try a little harder and to not give up hope, but her being yours will never come. It’s simply false hope.

She Lets You “Make Things Work”

She’s not going to stop you from trying to make things work between you two. But you’ll find yourself more or less chasing your own tail. Whatever you do, no matter how hard you try, or how good you are to her, it’s never enough. She’ll at least be appreciative of all your hard work, right? No. It will go mostly unnoticed, and it certainly will not be appreciated.

She Gladly Accepts Your Gifts

You may buy her cute or expensive gifts. You may take her out to nice restaurants, or trips to exotic places. This is all to show her how much she means to you, but she rarely, if ever, reciprocates on any level. A girl who’s really into you will often be the one buying YOU gifts. They may not necessarily expensive gifts, but cute or practical ones that let you know that you’re on her mind and that you’re loved.

She Will Mention Possibilities

In this case, she might talk about what COULD happen in the future, like suggesting that you two can finally go on a date together. However, she will never commit to it. She may suggest that you two go away for the weekend, but when you bring it up again, she’ll brush it off like it didn’t REALLY mean anything. It’s just talk. She may even make you feel small for thinking she was being for real. “Silly boy, you didn’t actually think I was being serious, did you?” Um, yeah. Why wouldn’t I?

People Tell You She’s Stringing You Along

If the people closest to you are noticing it, especially if it’s more than just one friend or family member, then it’s probably true. And don’t fall into the line of thinking that they just don’t understand your relationship, or they don’t know her like you do. They’re just looking out for you and they’re tired of seeing you hurt. They’re seeing her from a perspective of not being in love with her. Take what they’re saying seriously, or at least start taking a closer look at her actions.

You Can Feel It In Your Gut

Now, this is probably the most obvious sign that she’s stringing you along; you can sense it. We often ignore what our intuition is telling us, especially if the other signs aren’t completely jumping out a you, but your gut knows. Don’t ignore it, because eventually the universe is going to slap you in the face with it. By that time it’s not going to be a pretty realization. As an example, you might find out that she’s sleeping with, or dating, someone else behind your back while she’s telling you that she’s not ready for that. That’s going to sting. Listen to your gut!

How Men End Up Being Strung Along

How do men get themselves in to these sorts of situations? Well, it’s mostly due to the fantasy of her and the relationship you created in your mind. You end up telling yourself something similar to what she’s telling you; ”if I’m just a little more patient”. While patience is certainly important when it comes to relationships, you must look at the whole picture. Is she giving you anything? Investing in you? Does she show you any psychical affection? Does she make herself available for dates? If she’s showing you most or all of the signs I just rattled off above, then she’s probably not investing or showing you any physical affection. This means her words are pretty much meaningless and she doesn’t care about you anywhere near what she should.

How To Handle The Situation

So, what do you do here? I talked a bit about this in my videos “Don’t Allow Yourself to be Kept in Limbo”, as well as, another video, “Getting Your Needs Met with Women”. I believe I also talked about it in the video, “When Your Girl Stops Putting in the Effort”. You first need to talk to her, just in case this is a matter of her getting a little complacent in the relationship. A lot of people feel that their partner can read their minds and they should know how you feel. If she did just get a little complacent, then she probably isn’t aware of it.

Do NOT chase her time, attention, love or sex. This only communicates need and women find needy men to be very unattractive. It’s a HUGE turn off! Instead tell her that you adore her, but you don’t like how things have been lately and something is going to need to change. This situation isn’t going to work for you. If she truly loves you and wants a relationship with you, she will begin to change things. After all, she doesn’t want to lose you. Give her a little time to rectify, but also give her a little time to see if it sticks, if she does change. Sometimes she will change temporarily to appease you, but go right back to the same behavior after a couple weeks.

What If Nothing Changes?

If she doesn’t change, gets defensive when you speak to her about this, or makes excuses, then you’re just not that important to her, unfortunately. Again, her actions will tell you everything. Don’t believe her excuses, even if they seem logical. If she really likes you, you probably wouldn’t be going through this in the first place. But if she just got complacent she will be rushing to fix this, because she doesn’t want to risk losing you.

If she’s not changing after this, only changes temporarily, or continues with the same ol’ BS, it’s time to muster up your self respect and walk away. It’s a good idea to create an internal timeline. In other words, you will give her ‘this’ amount of time, an amount of time that you don’t threaten her with. If she’s not showing signs of significant change by that time, that is the end for you. A woman stringing you along is NOT a kind, loving woman. If she were, she’d be straight with you and tell you that she just doesn’t feel the same way about you. Letting you believe there’s hope or a future of any kind is quite cruel. Basically, she’s using you.

If You Don’t Take A Stand

If you stay, especially after talking to her about this, she will just lose more respect for you and treat you worse. Is that the kind of relationship that you want? I mean, if you’re getting laid out of this, then just enjoy your ‘friends with benefits’ situation. They can be a lot of fun, but just know that it’ll never go anywhere serious. In fact, none of this will go anywhere, except in the rare exception that she just got a little complacent in the relationship. But like I said, that’s a rare exception and not the rule. However, it’s worth a shot talking to her about it before you pull the trigger and walk away.

In Conclusion

Don’t put up with this stringing you along behavior. You will know when a woman is into you, you’ll feel it. You will notice how much she invests in you and how much effort she puts in to keep the relationship alive. It’s not going to be all sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time, but most of the time she will make it known how she feels about you through her actions.

Remember, this girl and the relationship is just a fantasy. There are plenty of women out there who would be happy to have you in their life. You just have to keep dating until you find a woman worthy of your time and energy. It’s a numbers game.

I Can Help You

Do you need help with your girl who is stringing you along? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

Be sure to also join the FREE Skill Of Attraction community, and check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, attraction, women, dating/relationships.

If you would like to watch my video on this topic, click here.

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