Your attention is your currency

Your Attention Is Your Currency

I think we can all agree that girls love attention more than anything else. And that’s not just from men, they like attention from other women as well. As an example, they may get some shoes that they’re just in love with & they get validated when other women notice & compliment those shoes. Now she’s flying high on that attention, & it IS often a little high. Or if she’s out at a club & there’s another girl with those same shoes, now the first girl is pissed. Some other woman had the nerve show up at the same place with the same shoes. Now they’re mortal enemies. Why? The other girl is either stealing the attention away, or she got the attention first.

As men, we’re different. If we see another dude wearing the same shirt, we compliment his taste of style, strike up a conversation & maybe even become best friends. Not with women. That other woman is now a bitch & they’ll be staring daggers at each other the whole night. This is not just adult women. This behavior starts when they’re little girls. First with their parents. Then with the other little girls in the schoolyard, & eventually boys, then finally men. This carries on their entire life.

Your attention is your currency

She Wants To Feel Special

Women like to feel special. We all do to some extent, but men are only treated like they’re special when we’re little boys. As we get older & develop into men we begin to realize that no one sees us as special, besides maybe our mothers. However, society continues to treat women as special simply for existing. Men have to work to earn that status. Even if we do make it to that level of high status, which most of us don’t, it’s short-lived, because we’re expected to keep going. We must keep proving ourselves, & if we don’t we kind of just disappear into the background. No one cares about a man who doesn’t perform in life. But, I digress.

What I’m trying to say is, women want & crave attention, like men want & crave sex. If they like you, they want YOUR attention. Your attention gives her validation, making her feel special. In fact, men give women attention so they get sex & women give sex so they get attention.

She Wants Validation

It’s important to understand that a woman getting attention from the right man is enough for her to feel emotionally satisfied. If a woman goes out & she’s able to capture the attention of a high value, or “alpha” man, she goes home floating on air. Hence, why men should never give too much of their attention away to women for free.

In comparison to us men; yes, it’s nice to get a phone number from a cute girl, & it’s even better making out with some hottie we just met, but we’re not really completely satisfied or validated until we sleep with her. Then of course if we like her, the process starts all over again.

My point being; for women, attention equals validation & it gives them a little high, but they operate much different than us. I only mention men & women are different, because many people think we operate the same; that women are attracted to us the same way we’re attracted to women or vice versa. It’s like when I go on a dating app & notice that women are listing all their accomplishments, degrees & job titles. They do that because that’s what THEY want to know about in a man; it’s attractive to them. Us men, we don’t don’t give a damn. I mean, sure, it may be a nice impressive perk, but it does nothing for our attraction. We’re really only thinking, “Is she hot? Does she put out?”

How Women Seek Attention

Women want attention; more importantly they want attention from high value men or alpha males. Just open up your Instagram & check out the photos a large portion of the women post. Obviously, these girls are a more extreme case, but that just gives you a glimpse into what I’m talking about with their extreme desire for attention. It’s really no different when it comes to your girl, or that girl that who you’re interested in. She may not necessarily be willing to get half naked for the world to see in order to get that attention, but she gets it in other ways.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I know that I like it when a girl I’m dating dresses hot for me, or she does something sexy in order to get my attention. It’s really only a bad thing when the male attention she craves becomes more important than you. We’ll save that for another discussion, however.

High Value Alpha Men

Getting the right attention from the right man is also partly why women find men who are in demand by other women attractive. Part of it is because it gives the woman social proof of the man’s status. She basically thinks, if all these other women want him, then their must be something special about him.

It’s also why a man who has no options with women are less attractive; it makes them wonder if there’s something wrong with the guy. They ask themselves, why don’t other women want him? Is there something wrong with him? But the other part of this is that women want to win his attention & love, snatching it away from the other girls. This makes her feel special; that she was that one woman who was special enough to get all his attention, & ultimately his love, even when he had plenty of other girls to choose from. That’s very validating for her.

Besides making dating easier for you, this is one of the main reasons why you want to date multiple women as much as you can, at least until you get into a committed relationship.

Your Attention Is Your Currency

Here’s another example of women loving & craving attention. I have a friend who used to be a stripper in her early 20s. She worked at the top strip club in Chicago back then. Many celebrities, high value & wealthy men paid her to dance for them. She wasn’t your stereotypical stripper either. She came from a good family, she didn’t have daddy issues & she wasn’t a hoe. So, I asked her why she did it. Besides the  good money of course, she said that she loved that she could command the attention of so many high value men. All their eyes were on her, not to mention they were paying for it.

My point with all this is, your attention is your currency when it comes women. They want it & you have it. Just like when it comes to sex, women have it & we want it, & they know this. However, I’m guessing that a majority of you don’t know, or realize, just how valuable your attention really is!

Never Give Free Attention

It should be obvious to you that most women don’t want attention from the wrong man. That’s more of a nuisance to them more than anything. But, if you’re the right man, then they want your attention. If you know that a woman is interested in you, then you want to use your attention like your currency. Give her a little bit when she earns it, then take it away when she takes if for granted. In fact, there’s a great quote from author Robert Greene, from his book “The Art Of Seduction” that touches on this, “Intrigue your targets by alternating an exciting presence with a cool distance, exuberant moments followed by calculated absences.”

See your attention is a gift. If she’s behaving in ways that you like; she’s being sweet, loving, affectionate, etc. Then you reward her slowly with your love & attention. But, if she’s behaving in ways that you don’t like; she’s nagging, starting unnecessary drama, treating you like a low priority, etc. Then you remove your attention swiftly & turn it elsewhere until she’s deserving of your attention again. It’s actually pretty simple.

When Women Pull Away

This is why when a girl pulls away from you emotionally I instruct you guys to back off, give her some space & let her come to you. If she cares, your lack of attention will start to have an effect on her. She will begin to feel that she better take some action if she wants your attention again.

Of course sometimes women pull away because they’re feeling hurt or unloved. But, if you’re holding up your end in the relationship by showing her love, arranging dates, having fun, rocking her world in the bedroom & whatnot, then a pull-away is generally due to her needing a little space. When a woman doesn’t want your attention or isn’t earning your attention, then you must turn your attention elsewhere until she conveys that she wants it again, & earns it.

This is also why no contact can work so well. No contact can work on both women & men, but it’s especially effective on women. It’s because they crave your attention & can become anxious when you remove it.

In Conclusion

So, when meeting women, give them a taste of your attention by being playful, upbeat & overall fun to be around. From there, let them begin to earn your attention. This will raise your value & make your attention even valuable. As you make your way through the dating process, & ultimately a relationship, give her your attention when she’s deserving of it. But, when she takes your attention for granted by doing things like, pulling away, being unavailable, disrespectful, & generally being overconfident, or just treating you like a low priority, then you remove your attention & turn it elsewhere. She must earn it back before you give it to her again.

Remember, your attention is your currency when it comes to women. When a woman wants your attention, & you’re not giving it to her, she will often do what it takes to get it. This is what is generally referred to as “chasing”; she’s chasing your attention & validation. This tends to be when a woman will initiate contact, have her hands all over you, hinting to see you & so forth. When a woman is chasing your attention, she’s not chasing anyone else’s attention. You’re a challenge & she wants to earn it. The more that she earns it, the more she will cherish it.

I Can Help You

Are you having trouble managing your attention with women? Is she taking the attention you give her for granted? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, attraction, women, dating/relationships.

If you’d like to watch my video on this topic, please click here!


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