how attraction works for women

For Women Attraction is a Sliding Scale

Most men don’t understand that how attraction works for women isn’t the same way it works for men. We, as men, see a beautiful face and sexy body and we’re immediately drawn to her. She’s in! How many times have you seen a very attractive woman and said to yourself or to your buddies, “I’m going to marry that girl”? We’re easy when it comes to attraction. However, when it comes to women, it’s a bit more complex. Yes, a physically attractive man will get her attention, but a man’s looks are really secondary in the big picture that we call attraction. And by “attraction”, I mean that deep, gut-level feeling that draws her in. The “spark”, if you will.

how attraction works for women

How Attraction Works for Women

Women are really more attracted to a man’s personality and his behavior. They’re really paying more attention to his emotional strength, his confidence, his sense of humor, how he handles difficult and stressful situations, how he treats her and how he makes her feel, how treats others, etc. This is why it’s so important for you, as a man, to feel good about where you are in life, and being centered during emotional situations. This will all come out in the way you tackle everyday life and ultimately how you behave around women.

This also means that your behavior is ultimately what drives a woman’s attraction for you up or down. Her attraction for you is a sliding scale, and it can move up and down from day to day, or even from moment to moment. That’s why she can seem totally in love with you one moment and completely repulsed by you the next moment. It’s what you’re saying and doing that drives this scale.

When her attraction for you is high, this is an indicator that you’re doing most things right in her eyes. She’s feeling safe and comfortable to open her heart to you, she’s feeling love for you, sexual attraction, respect and admiration. On the other hand, when her attraction is low for you, this is a sign that you’re screwing up somewhere. Perhaps you’re displaying weakness, where she’s going to be feeling a bit repulsed or disgusted. Or perhaps she doesn’t feel like you’re showing her respect or you’re not fully present with her.

Recognizing the Signs

When a woman is feeling a lower level of attraction for, she begins to shut down emotionally, because she’s not feeling that love and respect for you. This is typically when she begins to get moody and start acting a little “bitchy” towards you. She’s not going to be feeling affectionate towards you, or feel that sexual attraction. If you’re being rebuffed when you try to kiss her or get her in the mood in the bedroom, it’s a good possibility that this is why. It’s time to change things up here.

When her attraction level for you is high, this is when she’s laughing at all your dumb jokes, she’s making heavy eye contact, touching you, smiling at you, sitting close to you. She’s now feeling that love, respect and ultimately feeling very safe and comfortable around you. Whatever you’re doing to cause her to behave in this way, keep it up!

Understanding How Attraction Works

Understand that women typically act based on how they are FEELING in that moment. They are emotional beings and their emotions usually guide them to act; however, their emotions can also fluctuate quite frequently. That’s why it’s important to understand that however she may be acting, it’s typically how she’s feeling in that moment. That’s how attraction works for women.

When you notice that she’s beginning to act negative towards you, this indicates that her attraction for you is starting to slide down the scale. She wants to feel your love and masculine strength, but in a light, charming and playful sort of way.

On the other hand, when she’s laughing, touching you and wanting to be close to you, this signifies that she wants more of what you’re already doing. Women communicate with you more by their actions, than their words. Always be paying attention to how she’s showing up and act accordingly; that’s IF you want her to continue feeling love and attraction for you.

When Attraction Drops Too Low

Men need to understand that if her attraction level for you drops too low for too long of a period of time, you’re out! She begins to think that maybe you’re not the guy for her. She will say things like, “I need some space”, “I’m not sure how I feel about things between us anymore”, or “I’ve lost feelings for you”. What she’s really trying to communicate to you is, you need to step up to the plate and be the man that she fell in love with, or she’s leaving you.

Many women will stick it out until she has completely fallen out of love with you. Sometimes she will even line-up a replacement for you before she cuts the ripcord. After a breakup, have you or one of your buddies ever said, “How could she move on so quickly”? It’s because she tried to make it work until there was just no more love or attraction left. Should she have communicated the issues with you directly? Yes, absolutely! Women communicate differently than us guys, however. It’s our job to pay attention to these signs.

If you’re in this situation, it’s time you think back to where you may have went wrong. You must tighten-up your game to get her attraction level back up that sliding scale, before it’s too late.

Do you need some help with getting her attraction for you sliding back up the scale, or are you having any issues in your dating and/or relationship? Please visit my coaching page and book a one-on-one email coaching with me and we will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

How Attraction Works For Women

Do you have a question about your relationship? Send me a message of 2-3 paragraphs explaining your situation for a response. I may also use it in an upcoming post (your privacy will be respected). I must respond to my paying clients first, however. If you would like an immediate response please see my coaching page to book emergency coaching.


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