Women Don’t Care How You Feel

Now, before you get too upset hearing that women don’t care how you feel, you should not take this title too literally. In other words, yes women DO care how you feel about certain things. I will explain what I mean when I say they don’t care how you feel as you read along.

Attraction Is Selfish

When understanding female attraction, and hypergamy as a whole, you have to understand that it’s almost selfish. It’s not necessarily that women are selfish, per se. Of course some particular women can be selfish, but I’m speaking about how their attraction works; it’s almost selfish.

I believe it was David DeAngelo, a pioneer of men’s modern dating advice, that said, “Attraction works in selfish ways. It’s not concerned with the feelings of others. Attraction is designed to hijack the human body & mind for it’s own end”.

This is true for men as well; attraction works in selfish ways. But where it differs with women is that they’re hypergamous while men are not. Men are actually polygamous. Basically what this means is, a man’s nature is to sleep with as many women as possible, where women just want the best man she can attract. If her beauty allows it, she will trade up if she must.

It’s Simply Biology

Biologically speaking, men want to spread their seed around as much as possible to ensure their genes are passed on to the next generation. Women only want the seed of men with the best genes. This is why as men, we tend to screw just about any woman that’s willing, where women are typically very selective who they sleep with. When women sleep with a man who isn’t the best they can do, usually some sort of birth control is a must.

As a side note, don’t get it into your head that just because she insists that you wear a condom that she doesn’t see you as high value. There are numerous reasons why women want you to wear a condom that have nothing to do with your value. Many men tend to read way too much into some of the things I say, so I just wanted to clarify.

Female Attraction

Women are attracted to us for different reasons than we’re attracted to them. They’re also looking for different traits in a man than the traits we’re looking for in a woman. This may seem obvious, but most people think the opposite sex are attracted to us for the same reasons we’re attracted to them. This is why on dating apps men are posing shirtless while women are listing all their college degrees and accomplishments. I’m sure most of you would agree, men don’t give a damn about a woman’s degrees or her status at her company, at least in terms of attraction. But at the same time, while your looks do matter to women, it doesn’t matter anywhere near as much to them as physical beauty matters to us.

Women care mostly about the value that you bring into their lives, whether that be through the money you earn, your resources, your status, your ability perform, provide, protect and so on. Being good looking with a nice physique is a major bonus.

Women Don’t Care How You Feel

The fact that you’re in love with a particular woman means nothing when it comes to her choosing you. Women don’t care so much how you feel about them, they only care about how they feel about you. In other words, their attraction isn’t affected based on how you feel about them. They either find you hot, or not. Your feelings for them are irrelevant.

This is an important one to remember; women don’t care so much how you feel about them, they only care about how they feel about you, or how you make them feel when they’re with you. So, telling a woman how much you love her is not really a good selling point for attracting a woman, but we see it all the time in the movies: “but I love you!” And the woman swoons.

It’s even worse to use that when a woman is breaking-up with you. It comes across as desperation. I did that once back in my early 20s when a girl was breaking-up with me. I thought she was breaking-up with me because I didn’t show her enough love. I’m sure many of you have thought that too at some point, because we hear that from others, “maybe she feels that you didn’t love her”. Or my favorite lie, “maybe she loved you TOO much”. Gimme a break.

Because women don’t care so much about how you feel about them, this is why you mostly want to focus on building & maintaining a woman’s attraction. Most men focus mostly on building & maintaining a woman’s affection.

Successful Relationships

In order to have a healthy, happy relationship you need both attraction AND affection, but attraction is most important. That’s what keeps her devoted to you, loyal to you, keeps her working to earn your love & attention. She just feels in love with you and so drawn to you .

Affection, on the other hand, is the loving part of your relationship. Affection comes from doing nice things for her, complimenting her, being there for her and things of that nature. As an example of affection, you feel affection for your mother, for your friends, for your children and so on. It’s important to have that in a long term relationship, but without attraction you’re really just good friends. She loves you, but she’s not IN love with you.

When the Spark Is Gone

Women can rather easily walk away from a relationship where she feels only affection for the guy, but no attraction, or no spark. She may feel bad about it, because no one enjoys hurting someone they love, but as I just said; attraction works in selfish ways. This is often why women will monkey-branch from one guy to another; she lost attraction for the first guy. This most likely happened because he was only able to elicit and maintain affection in her; however, now she feels an intense attraction for the next guy. She’s basically trading up, in terms of his sexual market value.

Monkey-Branching

Yes, monkey-branching is low. Women should really end the first relationship before getting involved in another. It’s not necessarily cheating, but if the first guy is still romantically invested and THINKS that his girl is too, it’s going to be quite a blow to learn that his girl is now romantically invested in another guy without having any idea that it was coming. And trying to convince her to stay, because you love her isn’t going work. Why? Because women don’t care how you feel about her, they care about how they feel about you. In this case, she doesn’t feel that attraction for you any longer.

Not all women monkey-branch, but many do. So, just as a little side note here; if you feel that she’s slipping away, and you haven’t done anything wrong like, cheat on her or you’re abusive towards her, the best thing that you can do is to end the relationship. Be sure to read my article “I Feel She’s Going to Dump Me” to understand this better. I actually learned this very effective tip from a woman and it works quite well.

Why Women Chase Jerks

Be sure to keep in mind that it’s more important how a woman feels about you, than I how you feel about her. I’m sure you’ve noticed the so-called “bad boys” or “jerks” often show little to no interest in a particular woman. That same woman just continues to chase him and make herself available to him any time he shows her a shred of interest in her.

This is why! It’s because her feelings for him are just so strong. She fights for his attention and love, and when she gets even a little of that, she feels on top of the world. She earned it! Hence, this is why I always tell you guys that you want to put women in a position where she’s earning you, your attention and your investment. It’s just human nature that we cherish that which we must earn. It’s especially true with women, because they want high value men.

Exhibiting Low Value

You convey that you’re of lower value when you give her everything freely. But, when she has to work for it, it naturally conveys that you’re of higher value, because no high value will give away his attention, his investment and he certainly will not be giving away his love to random women who haven’t earned it. Only when a man is desperate for a woman will he give himself and his investment away freely, thinking this will get her to fall in love with him. But, he’s building affection with her this way, not attraction.

In Conclusion

Hopefully you guys now understand that projecting your love onto her does nothing, in terms of her attraction. It may build affection, but that’s not enough to get her to fall in love with you, or keep her in love with you. I know plenty of women who love their boyfriends or husbands, but not IN love with them. They fantasize about a man who will come in and sweep them off their feet and begin a wild, passionate relationship. It’s actually really sad for both the man and the woman that they don’t have that in their current relationship. Following what I teach can certainly change that. It does take work though. But, if you’ve ever had a wild, passionate relationship, then you know that it’s worth it. Not to mention, you’ll feel much more confident and stronger about yourself in your everyday life.

I Can Help You

Do you need help with your girl losing attraction? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

Be sure to also join the Skill Of Attraction community, and check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, attraction, women, dating/relationships.

If you’d like to watch my video on this topic, please click here.

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