women need mystery

Women Need Mystery In A Man

One of the most important parts of both seduction & maintaining a woman’s attraction is mystery. Women NEED mystery when it comes to a man. There needs to be something about you that she must figure out & fantasize about, or she’ll lose interest. If a woman feels that she has you all figured out, it really is the beginning of the end. Women must wonder about you!

Where most men screw this up is by overly-reassuring a woman where she stands with him. They’re always showering her with compliments, gifts, telling her how much he loves her, how she’s the one, & that he will never leave her. While it makes complete logical sense to do or say these things, because you want to make her happy & loved, you probably think that if you don’t always reassure her she may think you don’t love her & leave you. However, it’s actually hurting her attraction for you & slowly causing her to lose interest in you.

Think about the early stages of the courtship; you’ve gone out on several dates, you’ve slept with her at least a couple of times, she always wants to talk to you, & when you see her she can’t keep her hands off of you. It’s great, right?

Part of the reason for this is because she hasn’t figured you out yet, she’s not sure where she stands & there’s still a lot about you to uncover. This is exciting. It’s challenging. It’s interesting. She can’t stop thinking about you & wondering what will happen next. Really, this is exciting for anyone, including yourself. But, the difference is that women are very good at being mysterious. I mean, if you didn’t think they were mysterious you wouldn’t be here watching my videos. Men, on the other hand, they rarely hold anything back. And if you want to keep a her interest, women need mystery in a man.

women need mystery

Being mysterious isn’t about lying or pretending. I remember when I was younger & one of my female friends would give me advice about girls, “Erik, you need to be more mysterious”. But, I wasn’t quite sure what that meant. Of course I know what mysterious means, but I wasn’t quite sure how to apply it, in terms of attracting women.

I eventually learned through trial & error. And I wasn’t even consciously trying to learn, but eventually it hit me & I had a light bulb moment. ?

Men Are Typically Not Mysterious

When most men first meet a woman, they tell her EVERYTHING about themselves, usually bragging to paint himself in a good light & try to impress her. Or, they’re making excuses for who they are. I’ve done all this & let me tell you, in most cases you’re just drying her up between her legs by doing all this. You are not piquing her interest or giving her anything to wonder about. You’re giving everything about you away without her having to dig a little. There’s nothing exciting, mysterious, nor challenging about that. Women need mystery in a man!

For one thing, if you’re bragging to her she knows that you’re trying too hard & seeking her approval. What she’s really thinking is, “why is this guy trying so hard to impress me? Can he not get a girl just being himself? Is he trying to compensate for something?” And if you’re making excuses for who you are, of course she’s going to be thinking that you must not be much of a catch.

Women Want A Catch

Women want a man who is a catch; a high value, masculine man who she has to win over, using her beauty, charm & sexuality to steal a man’s attention away from other girls who are also fighting for his attention. This is a big win for her! She feels that she has earned his love & attention, & she feels special for doing so.

However, when a man is giving her all the details about himself upfront, without her having to earn it, she’s making the decision right then & there. She doesn’t even have to invest in you, you’re giving her everything basically for free. She doesn’t have to work for any of it. If she can win you over this easily, then any woman can. This lowers you value, as any woman could have you by flashing a pretty smile.

Woman Want To Earn You

It’s just part of human psychology that we all cherish that which we must earn. If I were to give you a brand new sports car for free, of course you would love that, but it came easy; you didn’t have to do anything to earn it. So, you’re naturally not going to value it much. On the other hand, if you had to work your ass off, work overtime, step up your game a bit in order to earn the money for it, you’re going to cherish that car! You’re going to be washing & waxing it like it’s your little baby.

It’s the same when it comes to relationships. The girl that makes you work in order to get into her pants is going to mean much more to you than some girl who just threw herself at you without you even showing much interest. Yes, of course you’ll take it—what man wouldn’t?–but she won’t mean nearly as much to you.

Women Need Mystery In A Man

So,what does all this have to do with being mysterious? Well, when you’re mysterious she wants to figure out who you are & what you’re all about. It encourages her to invest in you emotionally, mentally & physically.

The more mysterious you are, the more she’s thinking about you & trying to put together the puzzle. She’s imagining all these scenarios, all these wild beautiful fantasies. All the while she’s slowly falling for you, because she can’t stop thinking & wondering about you. She’s thinking about what you meant when you said that, wondering where you are or who you’re with, wondering if you’re thinking about her, wondering if you’re going to reach out, wondering if you like her as much as she likes you. This is raising the sexual tension & her attraction.

You’re Like A Good Book

When it comes to sharing who you are, you want to think of yourself like a book. She must turn the pages in order to learn what’s going to happen next. There are twists, turns, drama & love along the way, intriguing her even more. Because she can’t wait to find out what’s next, she wants to talk to you & spend time with you. When you’re together, she tries to reel you in even more with her affection & sexuality. She just wants more & more of you! This is why women need mystery in a man!

Her loyalty & investment is rewarded by giving her the next page of the book, but you continue to remain a bit mysterious, a bit challenging. Her sexuality intensifies in order to earn your validation & attention. She thinks, “does he like me? I must please him to be sure”. At this point, your pleasure is her pleasure.

Mystery equals attraction

Her Attraction Intensifies

Every turn of the page she becomes a little more invested, but you continue to give her the space to uncover you a little at a time, at her pace. However, you’re presenting yourself in such a way where she never quite gets to end of the book. There will always be something about you that needs to be figured out, because if you give away the end of the book, or what’s going to happen next, there’s no reason for her to continue reading. Women need mystery, because if she feels that she has you all figured out, she’s no longer investing.

She Wants To Fight For You

Women want to feel as if they’re fighting to earn & keep your attention away from other women who are also after you. This makes her feel special, like she’s won the prize. But, you don’t really have to be a ladies man. She just has to feel like you are. This is part of your mystery.

Perhaps she’s thinking, “He’s not very responsive & he’s difficult to get a hold of. I bet he’s talking to other girls. I need to spend more time with him & show him that I’m the only girl that knows how to please him right”.

That’s just one example, & it doesn’t always work as easily as that, but my point is to let her own imagination fill in the blanks without you trying to guide her, or paint yourself in a particular light. Let her ask you questions about you & dig for the answers. When you answer her, keep things a little vague & ambiguous, preferably in a playful manner. She’s uncovering a little bit more about you with each interaction.

Keep Her Guessing

Let’s say she asks you what you like to do for fun. Instead rattling-off a bunch of activities that will most likely bore her, have a little fun with it. Maybe tell her something completely ridiculous, in a playful way of course, “Well, I enjoy participating in yield farming within decentralized finance, & in my down time I like to tinker with flux capacitors”.

She’s going to be like, “huh?” But that’s okay, because now she’s thinking about it. She’s wondering what you meant by all that. If she asks follow-up questions, just keep it playful & simple, without really overtly answering her questions. In fact, turn the spotlight onto her & ask her questions. Then when she goes home that night, she will be lying in bed trying to figure all that out, & wondering what kind of man you are. In other words, you’ll be on her mind. Now, you’re kinda fascinating & intriguing; ultimately very attractive!

You’re Not Like Every Other Guy

Since you didn’t answer like every other guy out there; “I like watching sports & hanging with my buddies…maybe get some gaming in”, you answered with something completely different & interesting. If answered playfully, you’re also kind of fun too. She’s most likely going to want a second, third, fourth date & so on just to learn more about you.

And this is the case with everything; keep your answers a little vague, a little ambiguous & a little playful. Just have a little fun with it & let her wonder, let her chase you a bit. Women need mystery!

Never Give Full Disclosure

I an article awhile back on how women love mysterious men. In it, I talk about how to keep her talking mostly, which will not only keep you a bit mysterious, but it will also have her feeling much closer to you; maybe even a little vulnerable with you. It also makes you come across as more confident.

The whole idea is to just not share so much about yourself & how you feel so soon. When you do share something about yourself, you want first want to make sure that she’s working for it. Don’t lie to or deceive her. Just let her ask before you reveal too much. Let her turn the pages of the book that is you.

In Conclusion

Women need mystery! They like like to slowly uncover who you are. Don’t take the fun away from her by giving her all the details upfront. Tease her, flirt, be playful, let her dig. Not only does this keep you mysterious, but it gives her a sense of earning you while being rewarded with your attention & affection. And when a woman feels like she’s earned you, she will love you for it.

I Can Help You

Are you having trouble keeping yourself mysterious with girls? Is her interest level low? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.

Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, attraction, women, dating/relationships.

If you’d like to watch my video on this topic, please click here!


If you have found any of this info of value and you would like to show your appreciation, please donate here via PayPal directly below, or crypto directly below that. Thank you!

Related Articles


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Discover more from Skill Of Attraction

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading